March 15, the Ides of March, 2013
Looking past its association with Julius Caesar, this can also be thought of as a day for celebrating a New Year — March was the first month of the year in ancient Roman times. We’re now moving from a New Moon to the Vernal Equinox; spring, is only days away.
Renew. Rejuvenate. Reawaken. Revivify.
At age 51, after a year of treatments for cancer followed by a year of recovery which was as much about psychology as physiology, I am physically leaner than ever and nearly as strong again as that day, now two years and one day past, when I began a series of aggressive chemotherapy and radiation treatments to reduce the size of my tumor before surgery.
My spirit is in flux between strength and fragility. I’m learning to achieve balance there just as I have learned to balance for minutes at a time on my sitz bones. In truth, not meditating so much as mulling.
Practice. Patience. Persistence.
Isn’t this what I tell students to apply to their sculpting skills? Yes.
And also Passion.
It has been quiet here on the blog for many weeks as I explore a renewed life through my body (physical therapy and movement) my mind/spirit (psychological therapy and meditation) and my art/expression with sculpting, visual journaling and writing about the dreams and feelings that surface in quiet darkness, when the chatter of my “keep busy” monkey brain no longer demands my full attention.
Of course I will continue to sculpt horses. That is not “what I do”, but *who* I am.
The introspection and exploration of the late has shown me that just about every sculpture I have created in the past dozen years is a self portrait. Not of physical features of course, but of emotional states and processes.
Vata is finished. Today I’ll take him out to Barry to have a waste mold made of him.
Vata, back in January, not quite as finished as he is today, but you get the idea…